As if nothing ever changed

My father called. We didn't talk for 2 years. 2 years and 9 months. He called because he needs a family since he lost his. It was a lovely late summer evening and I was just coming home from a nice day when my mother told me on the phone that he had called. He already told her everything, talked to her for 2 hours. His girlfriend quit, told everyone he hit and raped her, abused her. He says she lies, took all of his money, his cards, his passport and dignity. She says he hit his son and my beloved brother that hard that she had to go to the hospital with him, she even said he nearly died. He says he's scared she will 'hurt' his Son and Daughter because she lost her mind and he is not sure what's going in her head. In the last week he told me every part of their relationship I never wanted to know, every dirty detail. He never asked me if I wanted to he just did, he just called be cause he knew that somewhere in this city is another child of his he could ask for help. I know he is a broken man and I know he lost everything and everyone that would give his life a sense and I know that everything he says now, all his apologies, are really dead earnest but he will have forgotten them by the time we will talk again.
I said I will help him and now I'm writing letters for his lawyer, I said I'm there and now he tells me about his fears and neuroses. I said he needs a therapist, an outsider who is impartial who will listen and he said he has me. I am not here to stop his fall, he wasn’t there to stop mine.
Over the past years I had begun to miss him, the whole afghan trouble a family like this includes but as soon as I was involved again I just wanted to run away.


01:42 + 15.09.06

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