Holiday season late submission

OK, alright. I tried to forget about it but a Christmas/New Years Eve update seems to be indispensable. Even to me, and I am the queen of neglecting.
On Dec. 23rd we started cleaning up the flat like mad. We are chaotic and we needed the whole day without getting ready. In between all of this we went to get the canard and everything else you need for a decent Christmas (No, no alcohol) and I eventually bought the tree in the evening.
On Dec. 24th we got up early to revive our scheme of getting ready before it is to late, we ended up vacuum cleaning, and decorating until 4pm when I finally started to decorate the tree. I also went to shower between the light chains and the tree balls to look half decent and more like you're supposed to look on a holiday like this. We placed our gifts under the tree and went to eat the canard with red cabbage and bread dumplings, just like every year. 8pm by now. We didn't talk much, and shortly went over to the gift part of Christmas. I got a PC flatscreen, which we bought together a few days ago, so it wasn't that much of a surprise but of course a great thing to get, I also got CDs, DVDs, earrings and a totally ridiculous amount of sweets as if I was underfed and I am not. My Mother got a watch and a cashmere shirt and was disappointingly held back about it, she's wearing the watch every day though. We pressed the pudding into our stomachs and placed our globated bodies on the sofas, drinking coffee, pawing our gifts and talking a bit.
On Dec. 25th we went to meet the family. The family. Can you hear the malign and fading echo? It was me who agreed to go there, my Mother asked me, she asked me and I said yes. Oh the fatuity. It started alright, we sat, talked and ate really nice cake. It was my Mother; aunt, uncle, cousin and girlfriend of cousin who live there, my other aunt, now widow, and me Ms. Outofplace of course. I was the one worth ignoring, I was unimportant. Everyone seemed to know enough about me and it was depressing enough, no need to ask for more. The outlaw daughter of poor, poor K. She had a hard time raising her daughter alone, after this letdown intermezzo with the Father of her daughter. No wonder her daughter turned out to be what she is today. Whatever. I didn't talk much to nothing at all and spent the evening listening to the conversation the others held about themes I couldn't care less about. Church, churchchoir, the museum my aunt works for, unsalaried of course, the disco my 33 yrs old cousin and his girlfriend are going to (aww, kids!), blah, blah, blah. My other aunt was constantly talking of her deceased husband, and I have to admit, it was strange sitting there without him as he only died this summer of cancer (He was in his mid 60s). It was actually a process, he started dying 4 years ago, but didn't tell anyone except his wife and kids, we got to know the news two years ago because my mother asked my aunt about him, since he looked so horrible. He was my "Santa" uncle when I was a kid. Anyway, that's another story. My aunt kept saying things like "He used to do..." Or "He used to say..." and was always close to tears. It was awful but everyone kept ignoring it. The famous Nordic undercooled family agreement I hate so much. Maybe it's just the bad temper I got from my letdown Father but I really want to talk about things to get relieve. But relieve in our family is so out.
We went home late and ate the rest of yesterday, not because we were hungry but because it was there. We then both went to bed. On Dec. 26th I had to work.
I got ill, a flu, a tonsillitis, an inflammation of the middle ear and throat ache. My mother went to buy the things for New Years Eve on her own, Coke, donut like cookies filled with marmalade we always eat at this time of the year, and again, no alcohol. We ate, drank, killed time and watched 'dinner for one'. Suddenly it was time to clink glasses and so we did, my Mother had wine, I hade a lovely Fanta/Cola mix aaand... Happy 2006. We talked until 4am and went to bed.
I didn't resume anything really, there's too much going on right now and nothing is sorted, consider this as a rough context of unpleasant things. Yep, that sounds good.

Mariam


P.S.: Thank You Kathy and Maja for your lovely gifts! I got more than I ever expected.

03:27 + 12.01.06

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