Life in general

Since 43 days I am staring at my screen, since 43 days I don't know what to write. 43 days that meant a lot. I learned a lot, about me, the people around me, and to be trite, life. Yes life. Conclusions I wish I had not made and some I was so fucking glad of. 43 days is definitely too much, I don't know where to start, what to begin with. I went to concerts, I met friends and I worked my ass off. Friendships and trust dominated though, I was unbelievably disappointed by some of them, not understanding their behaviour and how they could live with it. But I was also extremely happy to know who I can trust and talk to.

Last week Tina and I went to see Calexico and Iron and Wine, we had to travel there since they didn't come to our city. Usually it takes you 4 hours to get there, the girl who was driving us there was completely retarded though and set a new record after 6 and a fucking half hours. She also was a freak. And greedy. And disgusting. She managed to eat raisins. chips and carrot cake in no noticeable order - or mixed. She talked like she had a stroke two weeks ago, maybe she was only on Nicodin, we didn't ask. Just arrived we had to discover that Cologne, the city we had to go to first, is ugly. There's a cathedral, it is big black and at the inside very impressive but that's all. A Cathedral. Right. We went through the inner city, came past of what must have be a gazillion fast-food restaurants, 2 Starbucks (which isn't nearly as good as our German pendant Balzac) and a lot of weird people, went back to the central station and drove about 30 minutes to the wonderful city of Krefeld, where you become 'quote: Martin of Calexico: "Depressive and a stoner."' We ate at a famous fast-food restaurant beginning with a big yellow 'M' as they had nothing else to offer, went to the location (which was quite nice) and waited for the concert to begin. Mr. Iron & Wine - Sam Beam opened up and it was so fantastic. First I only wanted to go there because of him and Tina had to teach me who Calexico is, I knew about them but never heard anything by them. It was only him and he didn't need anyone else around him to make the crowd shut up. Afterwards Salvatore Duran entered the stage. He looked like a Harley Davidson honorary member and had silver-grey shoulder long curled hair. We didn't know what to expect but he also didn't hesitate to show us. At the beginning he sang like a tenor and all in all it was traditional Mexican music. His percussions were his feet on a plate of wood and he was so much fun, and good. Then Calexico came. It was amazing (can't think of any other superlatives anymore). After some time Iron & Wine came on stage again and they played "In the reigns", afterwards he and Salvatore joined in a couple more times. It was perfect, without exaggeration. After way to short 2 hours the concert ended but we waited for the Calexicans to show up. Martin did (Tina and him are like, you know, like, so close, so close!) and we talked quite a long time with him. Then also Sam Beam showed up and I got excited like a BSB fan in 1996. Who cares. HE signed MY timer and not yours! Ha! We then tried to get home, which turned out to be a little bit more complicated as we thought since Kathy, who lives close to Krefeld, wanted to catch us up to drive us to the city we had to meet up with the guy who was driving us home well Kathy fell asleep and didn't hear her mobile ring. I had a circulatory collapse and felt... bad. Tina eventually found a girl who was sweet and wonderful enough to drive us there though and we met the guy who drove us home. A very tired and chaotic happy end.
Two days later Maja came to sleep here for about 5 days since she had a busyness meeting here in Hamburg and combined it with a visit. We did a hell lot of sightseeing and spent (at least I did) way too much money. I bought a fantastic picture for 70, should be about $80. It just looked to fantastic and now I want at least 2 more of them to look good in my tiny room.
On Saturday it was Eurovision song contest time, this time more important than ever since our entry, Texas Lighting from the great cities of Hamburg and Newcastle, Australia are great. Tina and I wanted to see the simulcast at the Jungfernstieg, a nice place at the inner city but Maja didn't since she was tired from the day before, having the meeting and going to a gig in another city, coming back the next day around noon. I told Tina I was staying with Maja and she wasn't really happy with that decision. We had a huge argument, arriving its peak time 75m off the ground on a church viewing platform. She called me and asked if it was really my final decision and I said yes, blah blah. I thought she hung up on me and I, being on this platform doing sightseeing with Maja, left the church with a horrible dim feeling and the urge to scream and cry. I felt so horribly torn and so god damn sorry for me. I remained quiet for a while and tried to restrain the tears. Back home Maja and I watched the Grand Prix but I wasn't really in the mood for it. It felt stupid and this whole situation sucked (And Europe sucked, too Texas Lightning must have been way too good for all of those Eurodance ears in the east, and way too good for the ignorant in the west). Sunday night Tina finally wrote on msn "we should meet and have a coffee and talk" and I thought it was a very good Idea. On Monday morning after 1 hour of sleep I got up and went with Maja to the Airport, as she was leaving very early to get back on time to still go to work that day. Afterwards I spent 4 hours of waiting with driving in busses and subways, drinking coffee and so on until Tina and I met. She thought I had hung up on her. Such a small thing had such an impact. We sat in a lovely little bar drank coffee and tee and talked for hours, being absolutely honest to each other, we thought the same things about this topic and were basically just supplementing each others sentences. At the end it felt like we were way better friends than we used to be before and I was happy and so fucking relieved this was solved. A weight of about 2000 pounds went of my chest. On Saturday I thought I lost a great friendship.
Anyway, this shall never happen again. Never.

Mariam

02:36 + 24.05.06

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